These tend to be either *rifts-*started by an event that breaks the relationship-or drifts-when relationships slowly fade.They sound like: If only I’d reached out. Connection regrets are about not starting or maintaining a relationship.The learning: when in doubt, do the right thing.Bullying and cheating on a partner were the most widely reported regrets.They sound like: If only I’d done the right thing. Moral regrets arise from a choice that we realize was the wrong one.The lesson: speak up, ask them out, take the trip, start the business.They sound like: If only I’d taken that risk. Boldness regrets arise from us playing it safe.They sound like: If only I’d done the work. Foundation regrets arise from our failure to plan and be prudent.Regrets tend to fall into 4 categories: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets.The top regrets: family, partners, and then education, career, and finance, followed by health and friends.The key with regret: use your emotions to understand when you’re feeling regret, think about why you’re feeling it, and then use it to improve your future.Regrets can improve decisions, boost performance (by increasing persistence), and deepen meaning.And we blame ourselves for making the wrong choice. Regret is about comparison: we compare what we think could have happened with what did.
Despite what popular opinion says, regret is good.
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